Strongly Worded

Evite Evil

If you are fortunate enough never to have heard about Evite, let me give you a quick introduction. It is a free web site/service that generates automatic invitations to parties and events. So, if you are hosting a party, you go to the site, type in the event details, enter a list of all the people you want to invite, and they all get an email link to your "party page" where they learn when and where to go, and what to bring.

Like many technologically-enhanced social tools, Evite is more tortuous than convenient.

For example:
- On the site, you can see the number of invitees, and also the names of people who have RSVPed "yes", "no", and "maybe." For some reason, people feel compelled to RSVP with their name and some pithy remark, i.e. "I'll be there with beer on." Or they refer to some "inside" joke that illuminates how quirky and hilarious they are.
- Because people in general are flaky, and do not RSVP even after repeated automated Evite reminders, there are always many more invitees than RSVPs, which can make the party, and consequently the host(ess) appear pathetic. From the perspective of the host(ess), this is horrible not just because of the self-esteem erosion, but because most people do not RSVP at all, rendering moot the entire point of Evite (which is ostensibly a tool for counting guests).
- Evite also fosters host(ess) obsession because (s)he receives notification whenever anyone opens the evite email--regardless of whether they RSVP. So (s)he is regularly informed of who has considered the invitation and chosen not to respond.
- The "plus guest" option and the visible list of "maybes" extend the angst to invitees. Today, for example, I responded to my friend Anne's birthday party Evite and discovered that the Former Object of an Obsessive Crush has also been invited, AND that he MAY attend AND, even worse, if he comes, it will be "plus guest". This is enraging because:

1. He has a date, whereas I do not, and this wounds my pride.
2. He "may" come, so I can't justify skipping the party altogether, BUT, every time the door opens I will experience a surge of anxiety. Throughout the evening, I will worry that he and his fucking "plus guest" might materialize.
3. His pithy comment: "I may come, depending on when I get back into town." Subtext: "I have fabulous out-of-state plans and me and my fucking "plus guest" are too cool to commit to this party."

Posted by Dori at 2:14 PM