Strongly Worded

Mr. Ponytail: another UpDATE

Loyal readers, you will remember that a few weeks back I met a very, very nice guy
who I agreed to date despite his ponytail.

Here's the latest:

After our Afghan meal (see earlier post), and New Year's, we decided to go see a movie, and during the scheduling process, I realized that I needed to be upfront about the fact that I was experiencing more "friendly feelings than romantic feelings." I conveyed this to him via email, explaining that I still would like to see him on a friendly basis, but would understand if that didn't work for him.

His response (note how very, very nice he is):

"Don't worry. I totally understand and respect your feelings. I am, however, a bit bummed to hear of them. To be honest, I was unusually optimistic about you. If it means anything, I was indeed feeling a romantic vibe, but of course, I know it's got to be a two-way street. I appreciate your honesty in letting me know it won't be, and I'm sorry about that. Can I at least pay you a compliment on your physical attractiveness? I hope that's OK!

Anyway, I do have plenty of friends, but if the movie doesn't include machine guns or spaceships, well, let's just say, my opportunities are more limited. So I'm happy to go on as movie friends. Oh, one more thing: As friends, might you have some constructive dating criticism for me? I feel like such a failure in the womanizing department. I'm not one. I can't be. I am desiring some romance, and I've gotten your kind of email response in the past. I'm sort of stumped. I tend to be not-forward at first, so if you felt more of a friendly vibe, that
might be why."

I responded with praise--after all, isn't he very, very nice? And thoughtful? And a good listener? And smart? I told him to keep doing what he's doing, and I shared with him the long sad story of the year of fruitless dating that preceded my last relationship.

His reponse:
"My god, this is one of the most amazing emails I've ever received. I'm honestly at a loss for words. You've managed in a short span of time to bum me out and bring me all the way back up, and then some. The effect has been as if your words make me WANT to get rejected more often. :-) I never get such kind words, and I've pretty much been speechless since
reading this email. Dating has always been rather difficult for me, so I can somewhat relate to how you've felt. But, I'm appreciative of your kind words of encouragement, and because you've given me your story of perseverance, I'll repost my personal ad. I'm really surprised you've "spent ages" seeking romance. I'm maybe stroking your ego here, but I'd think
you'd have been swiped up quickly!! That really puzzles me. Well, consider me a friend anyway. Oh, and thanks for thinking I'm cute. That's another thing I wonder about. Am I? One never knows... Anyway, see you next week."

Posted by Dori at 2:34 PM