Strongly Worded

Just So You Know, I Have My Master's!

OK, so in a rash of stupidity I designed postcard-invitations for a work event. I thought it would save time and effort and money (no folding, no stuffing, 22 cent stamps).

I did NOT anticipate that printing two cards on a page would involve using a paper cutter (aka guillotine) to make TWO HUNDRED POSTCARDS. (I knew it would involve the paper cutter--I didn't know how long it would take.)

I remember when I first moved to the city, I had a hilarious temp job at B.U.'s theater department (where Rosie O'Donnell studied), and my boss was an actor-cum-academic director, which involved a little acting, some teaching, and a lot of random work like cutting curtain materials and moving boxes of props. Every time he completed one of these menial tasks, he would shout: "Just so you know, I have my master's degree!"

Well, I now have my master's as well, and yet I found myself at Staples yesterday afternoon, seething, because I spent thousands of dollars and hours of agony on post graduate education, and yet I was STRAINING my back and shoulders cutting fucking postcards. I was also enraged because while I was doing this, I had to endure the conversation of two Harvard Business School students, who looked about fourteen years old, and who were talking loudly about JP Morgan and networking and their big bad careers, and assessing the time value of money as it pertains to a four-year Bally's gym membership (I kid you not).

I have an intern who will, by God, finish this horrible task, and he will also affix mailing labels to the invitations and stamp the return addresses. But it is a sad state of affairs for me to realize that I have the same degree as those fourteen-year-old Harvard guys, and yet they will probably earn about twice as much as I do, and they will have assistants and receptionists, and never have to stand, despairing, at Staples.

Sometimes I REALLY resent my social conscience. And I wish I could say, well, I could work at JP Morgan if I wanted, but I'm choosing to make less money and make more copies because I love the rewards of doing Good Work. And while this is true to some extent, I have to admit that JP Morgan would never hire me, mainly because I would never survive the case interview process, and also because I can't remember how to calculate the time value of money even though I learned how to do it just months ago. Who would ever hire me to make widgets or sell things? What do I know about that?

Posted by Dori at 8:14 AM