Strongly Worded

Parking Nazis

OK, so today is March first: important date since it is the birthday of K., plus Allan Thicke (from Growing Pains), Ron Howard (of Happy Days), and Ralph Ellison (of The Invisible Man). Also today in 1692, the three women in Salem, MA were charged with witchcraft--kicking off our proud tradition of witch hunting.

But March 1 is also important in that it's the day in which new parking passes go into effect in my beloved city of residence. Yesterday one could park on the street with a blue visitor's pass--today, the pass has to be red. In anticipation of this, I headed down to the Traffic Commission office, which is conveniently open from 9-4 every day, with "late night hours" (until 6 p.m.) on Wednesdays. On February 28th, when the city's 77,000 residents were undergoing the blue-red transition (kind of symbolic, I am just realizing), there were three clerks at the Traffic Commission office. I arrived at 9:01 and the line had already twisted all around the room and out the door.

My theory is that this is a conspiracy, and that the city does not want people to have valid visitor passes, nor to comply with parking regulations. A large part of the city's revenue must come from parking tickets. I believe this because the only way to discern what the parking regulations are is to download (and theoretically read) a 64-page PDF file that is buried in the City's website.

The enforcement of said mysterious regulations is also cruel and unusual. Example: you can park without a visitor's pass on Sundays. I left my foster car on the street one ill-fated Sunday night. On Monday morning I found a ticket on my dashboard (written at 6:48 a.m.). Meaning: the parking people are out trolling before dawn, nailing people while they're innocently asleep in their beds. I considered appealing this ticket, but I had absolutely no case--my car was illegally parked for 6 hours and 48 minutes.

I wanted to pay this parking ticket yesterday while I traded my blue passes for the red ones, but I realized that I had two pieces of mail with me (to prove residency) but that the mail must be a utility or cable bill (not a credit card offer from Capital One). Thus my time (and aggravation) was wasted, and I trooped out of the office. I'll have to go back. And meanwhile, I'm at the mercy of the parking nazis.

Posted by Dori at 9:25 AM