Strongly Worded

Terrible, Horrible, No Good ...

So yesterday sucked. I had a quasi-panic attack and almost threw up in the parking lot outside my office.

Said quasi-panic attack was brought on by:
a) a most wretched, cruel, and hateful funding requistion
b) my six-month performance evaluation; and
c) the most comprehensive and detailed and important funding proposal I have written in a long, long time.

First, let me describe the requisition process, and if anyone out there wants to say anything about the amount charitable groups spend on overhead, THIS IS WHY. Basically, in order to get the $24,000 the government owes us, I have to submit a copy of every single expense paid during the (six month) requisition period as well as every single paystub, timesheet, and paycheck. This SUCKS, and takes HOURS, and is so confusing with all the papers and the copies that it literally makes me nauseous. Also, I FORGOT about this $24,000 requisition until our accountant noted some cash flow issues, so I feel guilt and pressure on top of stress.

Next, allow me to describe the performance evaluation, which I have been stressing about for months, mainly because we don't actually have a formal performance evaluation process. This meant that I had to ensure the fairness of the process that developed. The first version presented by the higher-ups mostly addressed regulatory and financial management issues (see above ... ) and so I spent a lot of time and energy enlightening them about all the other things I do (and especially the things I do well). We went through several iterations of evaluation criteria and finalized the form. So I prepared a 4-page report of activities and filled out a 4-page self-assessment. We sat down to talk about their assessment and mine, and it pretty much matched up, except that they scored me even higher in some areas, and plus they acknowledged that my job is impossible, so that was nice. In fact, one of the evaluators actually called me beforehand and told me that, during my hiring process, she considered not voting for me because she felt it would bring on suffering, and she wanted to spare me.

And finally, let me describe the proposal which is due by 5 p.m. today, and which I finished writing over the weekend, but which requires THREE YEARS of budgets and budget projections, which our treasurer promised to deliver by the end of yesterday, and did not. He came by at 8 P.M. to BEGIN doing these projections and by the time I got everything ready to go it was 10:30. I had to make two copies and Staples, it turns out, IS NOT OPEN 24 HOURS. So I went to Kinko's where they only had two functional self-service copiers, and all these frazzled doctoral candidates copying their long, long theses. I experienced an attack of rage and frustration. I got home at 12:11 a.m..

I need to go to a spa.

Posted by Dori at 7:29 AM