Strongly Worded

A, B, C ,D or All of the Above

So one of the most bizarre aspects of my Relationship with the Guy I am Dating is our similar response to anxiety (which we have in roughly comparable abundance). In the past, I have exclusively dated men who are (at least outwardly) more mellow than myself, such that a major leitmotif in my romantic history goes as follows:

Me: I am so worried about [my upcoming exam/the state of whatever project I'm spearheading/my relationship with X person/my general competence, intelligence, health, or appearance]. I can't deal!

Boyfriend: ???

Responses to my ongoing worry and angst fall into four major categories:

a) Distraction: "Don't worry about it. Let's talk about something else."
b) Affirmation/Validation: "This is very scary and worrisome! Let's wallow together in your stress."
c) Reality Checking: "It's really not so bad. Your exam isn't until next month/your project is not really a big deal/your relationship is not in jeopardy ... also you're brilliant and wonderful and you'll do great."
d) Supportive Intervention: "I can totally understand why you're worried. Maybe if you tried [insert constructive suggestion] ... then ... [insert desired outcome]."

Last night the Guy told me about a stressful situation he is facing, and here's the scary part: I needed to do the reassuring! I was faced with the multiple choices, all nuanced. And there was no "ask the audience" option. So I had to just ask the Guy, and he opted for B and D (I think. It's all blurry now).

And just so you all know, I'm pretty much a B and C kind of gal.

Posted by Dori at 9:02 AM