Strongly Worded

Tech Talents: An Open Letter to a Magazine

A friend of a friend (FOF) has a job I rather covet: he's a writer for a hip tech magazine, and in the past he has written for the Improper Bostonian.

So anyway, FOF is writing an article and begging for help. He pleads, "we are writing about "tech talents" that would make a guy more or less attractive to women (like yourselves). I would especially appreciate any thoughts you have on nerdy traits you have observed in real-life boyfriends, lovers, stalkers, etc., that you found either endearing or revolting."

I am intrigued by this question, because it highlights the fact that I have only once dated someone with serious "tech talents", and that I should have taken more advantage of that. Regardless, here are my only semi-informed perspectives:

Endearing Tech Talents

1. Definitely, definitely the ability to vanquish spyware, adware, malware etc. This is so very hot--on par with beating up ex-boyfriends or fending off muggers.
2. Patience in imparting Tech Talent--for example, step-by-step instruction on Access, or the sharing of little tricks to make computing quicker and lovelier. A strong hand on a mouse pad ... dexterity on a keyboard ... this all bodes well ...
   
3. Fluency with system restoration, and a calm demeanor in the face of impending crashes. Understanding that said crashes may occur during stressful times (aka 2 a.m. before a paper is due) and that a request for help may not be infused with tenderness.
   
4. Empathy with the frustration of calling India and talking to 14 "customer service specialists" before discovering that the computer won't turn on because the power cable has become dislodged.
5. Ability to use email in a manner that is sexy, affectionate, and yet appropriate for reading at work. Judicious use of emoticons and abbreviations (my Guy always signs emails with "ttyl" (Talk to You Later) which is absolutely no substitute for "love.")
   
6. Huge bonus: ability to go beyond the sphere of computing and install DVD players, program VCRs, and fix other electronic devices. Without being all macho about it.
   

Revolting Tech Talents

1. Impatience with emerging Tech Talent, aka "I told you to check the power cable." Or "It's so obvious! All you need to do to make the Access report is to link all seven tables to the query!"
2. Inability to disconnect and walk away from the flashing VCR light or the very vexing and mysterious technological glitch. Whatever is wrong with your thing, there is a time and place to deal with it, and it's unlikely to be in my company. Similarly, it's important to let go and come to terms with the fact that the virus-ridden computer you found on the sidewalk is junk, even though you've made heroic efforts to revive it.
3. These are some revolting potential side effects of tech talents: lack of social skills (MIT offers a real live charm school for this reason); a vocabulary peppered with incomprehensible terms (I wish I could think of some examples); the snubbing of DreamWeaver and other "dumbed down" applications (which some of us worked very hard to master, thank you very much); and use of email/instant messaging as a substitute for prolonged human contact.

Because several of my very close friends are or will be married to highly talented techies, I look forward to their insight on this.

Posted by Dori at 5:48 PM