Strongly Worded

Two Weeks Notice

So I've given notice at Houseware Heaven. I can't take it anymore. I had this vision of myself selling housewares recreationally, but it turns out they require many more hours than I am available to work.

(Not entirely) incidentally, I suck at retail. I cried for three hours after my Saturday shift. I realized I am not an asset to the HH team. I've got the "helpful-but-not-stalker" customer service thing down. I genuinely enjoy chatting with customers about upcoming parties, weddings, dinners. It's super fun to discuss stemware and pretend I know the difference between a goblet, a "red wine glass" and a "balloon glass." And it's super, SUPER fun getting cheap "merch." On Monday night I got a cutting board, a "baguette set", and bud vases, for $5.73 total.

However, it is NOT fun to feel like a complete failure in the "retail skills" department. Namely:

1) I have no working memory. People ask me if I can get seven "Christina" goblets from the stockroom. By the time I get to the stemware section I've forgotten why I'm there.

2) I am not so detail oriented. Once I've located the Christina goblets, I may or may not match them up with the appropriate customer. And I may or may not mix in a few "Elena" balloon glasses if they happen to be nearby. On Saturday, a woman came in hours after her purchase. She got three of the wrong kind of glasses in her alleged set of six.

3) Math? Not so much. Are two 16-piece sets of silverware cheaper than one 32-piece set? Turns out they are. But who the hell knew?

4) Oh, and change? Was that $10.09 or $9.10? Oops!

5) Spatial relations? Umm, no. Will an "Audrey" vase fit into a small, medium, large, or oblong box? Can we fit some acrylic coasters in there? No way to know but try. Three or four times.

Alas, after two weeks I will no longer be an HH employee. So stop by while the getting is good--the time for discounts is winding down.

Posted by Dori at 12:22 PM