Strongly Worded

Completely Deranged: The Landlord Saga Continues

This is so, so outrageous.

The last few weeks I've been coming home in the evenings and noticing small changes in my apartment. One time the blinds were open (and I never leave the blinds open when I'm out). Another time a window had been left partially open. At first I thought I was hallucinating, but then I realized that my landlords/realtors have been showing my apartment without my permission and without advance notice.

Because I don't want to interact with my evil, crazy, racist landlords, I haven't said anything, even though such visits are illegal at worst and disrespectful at best. I figure, the sooner they rent the godforsaken apartment, the sooner this will end.

Then last night, I found a pair of eyeglasses on my kitchen counter. They were definitely not mine (although I checked, because it just seemed too insane that anyone would leave their eyeglasses in my apartment, especially when they're not supposed to be there at all). I debated briefly how to handle this egregious invasion of privacy (What's next? Will I come home to candy wrappers? Used condoms?). Because, as I mentioned, I don't want to interact with my hateful, spiteful landlords, I wrote the following note: "I assume these belong to someone who came to look at the apartment. I found them in the kitchen." Then I put the glasses on top of the paper and left them on the steps along with my rent--second to last installment of the $27,150 I will have paid them for the privilege of two years of tenancy.

Within minutes, the landlord storms downstairs and screams: WHAT IS THIS NOTE? I explained that I found the glasses in my apartment and am returning the. I re-read it for him. AND WHAT IS THIS? He pointed to a tiny smudge of salad that had affixed itself to the note, probably from his own counter, but possibly from mine. Apparently he'd perceived this as an insulting gesture, like blowing my nose on the note or something.

Once he confirmed that I had not, in fact, topped the note off with snot, he rustled up some serious, mentally ill chutzpah and yelled, oh-so-brazenly: THOSE GLASSES ARE MINE. I WENT INTO YOUR APARTMENT TO TAKE PHOTOS FOR THE INTERNET REALTY SITE. IS THAT A CRIME?!

I was shaking with outrage. While busting into my apartment without permission isn't a crime, it is totally illegal, and he totally knows it. When I told him politely that he should have given me notice, he screamed back: OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS, I NEVER WENT INTO YOUR APARTMENT, NOT ONCE.

Then he proceded to yell at me about the rent, which is too boring to get into. But bottom line: my landlord did something egregiously illegal and disrespectful. I took the highest road possible (I mean, it was Alpine). And I still got screamed at.

Posted by Dori at 10:33 AM