A Dispatch to Some Saints--and an UpDATE
Like the good Jewish girl that I am, I'm putting in a call to St. Anthony, patron saint of lost things. Are you listening, man? Because since my whirlwind trip to California, (left Friday at 5 a.m., returned Monday night at midnight), I have misplaced my credit card and some prescription medicine. Rest assured that my credit card is lurking somewhere in my immediate environs. I keep checking online for activity, and there is none, so I'm fairly confident that it hasn't really been lost. The last purchase made online, for a work-related thing, which leads me to think it's on my desk somewhere, mocking me from under a pile of paper or from one of the countless pockets in my dizzyingly complex "Get Organized by Nine West" work bag. Enraging.
Similarly enraging is the vial of meds that I swear I put in my top dresser drawer after misplacing it a few weeks ago. Despite a frenzied search through my apartment, I can't find it for the life of me.
While I'm soliciting advice from the heavens, I would like some input on some extremely puzzling male behavior, perhaps from you guys, perhaps from St. Agatha, patron saint of single women. (If you want an itemized list of issues and their respective Saints, check this out).
OK, so the guy I've been seeing (let's finally give him the name Mr. Entrepreneur), have gone out four times. As I may have mentioned, romantic (waterfront) kissing occurred on Date III, and perfunctory kissing occurred on Date IV (a short power breakfast before I left for California). I was very stressed out for various reasons, and Mr. E followed up that evening with a caring and funny text message (my first ever!). I composed my first-ever text message response, and then when I arrived in California I found another message from him, wanting to ensure that I'd survived my liquid-free flight. SO CUTE.
As promised, I emailed him today. We traded more cute messages. But he did not propose another get-together. I don't understand this at all and am reluctant to initiate one myself, because what if, as I suspected, He's Just Not Into Me and is engaging in cure email behavior as a diversion? WHY does all this have to be so mysterious?
Readers? St. Agatha?
Posted by Dori at 5:41 PM
9 Comments
As we know, I am horrible at this stuff, but I can tell you what my guy friends would say: He's busy and doesn't know his upcoming schedule and that's why he didn't ask you out. However, in my head, I'd be thinking: He doesn't want to see me again. He doesn't want to see me again. He doesn't want to see me again. Because I like to torture myself like that.
I agree with Hilary (and I torture myself too). Texting is just a convenient method of transmitting a message. Be patient, relax, yadda. Have faith. Four good dates!
why don't you just suggest your next outing. something very date-y like bowling or a picnic while the weather is still nice.
Maybe he's worried you don't like HIM and is waiting for you to suggest something? Who knows with boys -- but might as well find out sooner rather than later, I say.
Dori, what is it that you want from him? If you want to have contact with him, then I suggest taking the bull by the horns and telling him that you'd like to see him. What on earth kind of guy, in the year 2006, is worth dating (let alone marrying!) if he's intimidated by a woman of substance. I'm all for "start as you mean to continue" and be clear about being interested. The worst that can happen is that he's not interested and then you move onto the next one. Do you really want a guy who can't handle direct questions? I think probably not.
"The worst that can happen is that he's not interested and then you move onto the next one."
I really like that advice!
Seems only fair that you should initiate some of the dates. In my experience, guys don't like to put themselves out there all the time without some reciprocity.
Anne
If you want to see him again, you should ask. As you know, playing dating games is frustrating for everyone. And if he says no (which he won't!), then you can stop torturing yourself, because you'll know where you stand. And if he says yes (which he will, because you're lovely and wonderful), then you'll have 5 good dates to write about!
I personally would prefer a woman who initiates some of the outings.
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