Romance Intolerance?
The title of this post is a reference to a particularly ept Sex and the City episode, in which the girls are horrified by Petrovsky's gradiose gestures of love, and Carrie wonders if she and her cynical New York friends have become "romance intolerant".
I'm shocked to report that I may have developed this affliction. I noticed it when Mr. D and I had dinner at his place, and he set the table with plates, flatware, and votive candles. It was sweet, and a subtly romantic, but some bitchy postmodern cynic rose up within me and cackled. And then, last night, I had the same reaction when he spoke sincerely about his faith in love. Perhaps I registered disdain, because he asked: what's the matter, aren't you a romantic?
And I shrugged and wondered the same thing. Especially since I myself had prepared a votive candle set-up in my apartment, thinking it might add a cozy and cuddly element to our surroundings. But then when we walked through the door I scrapped the idea. Too contrived. Too cliched. I just couldn't pull it off. I'm not a votive candle kind of girl.
But then I pondered while squinting next to my unromantic 60-watt reading lamp. I told Mr. D about a vacation with a former love interest, in which we stood on a rooftop in Lisbon under a full moon, and the guy took my hand and said something about the beauty and the romance of the moment, and I deliberately ruined it by sneezing emphatically and suggesting we go back indoors. Around the same time, we had a trite encounter with strawberries, candles, and massage oil. And what I vividly remember is feeling utterly ordinary, and fixating on the growing pile of gnawed strawberry stems on the bedside table. I tried to be all enchanted when really? It was just like any other night. The trappings did not bring on real romance.
It's hateful to scorn sweetness. Candlelit meals are delightful, and I can too pull off votives. I need to temper my Miranda impulses with a big infusion of Charlotte.
Posted by Dori at 7:22 PM
5 Comments
Oh yes, please don't be intolerant of romance. I am a cynic of the highest order, but the romance is good--as long as it comes from the right place. Go with it and enjoy.
romance, shomance. a good sense of humor and sharing an inside joke go much further for me along the romance lines. if you are being proposed to, it makes sense, but on a day-to-day basis...who are we kidding?
I say we're living in different times, and the trademark cynicism is nothing to apologize for. Romance isn't dead; it's just taken on new forms. We're skeptics, and we don't trust anything that seems like it's trying too hard. (Didn't we discuss hand-kissing here a while back?) My idea of romance is, say, splitting a sandwich & fries at the bar. Or having some wine in coffee mugs on the back porch, watching the lightning bugs. But when I write it down, it suddenly sounds contrived too. Either way, he seems like a nice guy. Achoo.
I loved the part about the gnawed stems! Candles stress me out ... I always think they're going to burn the place down.
-K
my ex gave me a sweatshop free t-shirt on valentine's day - i found that totally romantic because it showed he really paid attention to what i'm about. i'm not really about strawberries and candles. but i know what you mean about miranda - whenever i watch sex and the city i think 'oh no, i'm miranda!!'
Post a Comment
« Home