TMITS?
A few days ago, Mr. D told me seriously that he wanted to tell me something. "I'm debating whether to tell you this, but I think you'd want to know." And I assumed the worst: AIDS, criminal history, worship of Rod Stewart. It turned out I had something in my teeth.
There comes a moment in the early stages of any relationship (or at least any of my relationships), during which confessions are exchanged. It often follows a prolonged cuddle-fest, or some other relaxing and intimate experience. Usually these disclosures have to do with current or former mental health issues, lingering aftermath of family drama, or love gone awry. Afterwards, you know what you're getting into, and can stop being polite, (as they say on a certain rapidly deteriorating "reality" show), and Start Getting Real. Or, if you're not up to the challenge, you can opt out.
On Friday night, Mr. D finally divulged some stuff I'd been wondering about (mainly family and relationship stuff--nothing at all shocking), and he seemed unburdened and also startled by my neutral and accepting reaction.
He ended up sleeping over, which was somewhat of a big thing for me, because I occasionally have nighttime hallucinations, an incredibly weird side effect of the medication I take for my seizure disorder. It probably would have been a good time to discuss said affliction, especially since we'd been talking about my headaches and how they relate to my unrelenting anxiety. But I didn't go there. I mentioned anxiety in a general way. (I didn't share my Friday night concerns, which included, but were not limited to: Would Mr. D be revolted by my less-than-perfect thighs? Did his ex look like a supermodel? Would my neighbor object to his blocking the driveway? Would she call at 8 a.m. and ask him to move the car? Would she surmise that I'm a tramp, harboring a BMW-driving Internet date in my home? What would happen in the morning? Would I get my prized "weekend alone time"? Or would the weekend be consumed by shared activities? And was that a problem? And if so, why? Why? WHY?)
I'm perplexed, gentle readers. I know not whether the seizures and my other lovely neurological eccentricities need discussion, or whether divulging them would be giving out Too Much Information Too Soon.
Posted by Dori at 4:37 PM
5 Comments
Dori -
It sound like the two of you have started to grow closer, and he is comfortable sharing information he is concerned about with you. If you are ready, it sounds like your relationship has reached an appropriate level to discuss your medical issues with him.
Best of luck!
That's not TMI. That's just you, and he obviously likes that person.
You don't need to be specific about your anxiety -- if the relationship works out, he'll figure out what your anxiety is all about in its own good time. I don't know what to say about the epilepsy. It seems like an appropriate time to mention it. Would it be awkward if the relationship progressed and you brought it up much later? (Awkward because you hadn't mentioned it early on?)
I LOVED the beginning of this post! Very clever.
--Anne
Hi, it sounds to me like you do not want to share to much info because you are not that into him...
It is not too much because it is about you. It does not have to be specific, just a heads up and some indication. He may appreciate the candidness and honesty and take it as a sign you are comfortable with him.
Post a Comment
« Home