Ambiguity Inventory
Despite the streaming “relax … it’s good for you” radio and my (weak) attempts at measured breathing, I am freaking out, a vexing mix of rage, frustration, and uncertainty.
RAGE
1) A whole bunch of assorted work-related stuff has been on hold for ages. I am tracking down about $40,000 of receivables that I invoiced in NOVEMBER. Last week I resorted to physically planting myself in the office of the people who owe us money, because they have stopped returning my calls. Once I arrived at the Comptroller’s office, I was prepared to assess the vibes, and then rock my most charming and/or threatening demeanor, as appropriate. But it didn’t matter, because they were all “in a meeting”, so all I could do was write a long, pleading note explaining that I have not deposited my last paycheck because of the cash flow problems they have created. (This borders on truth.) A different office has been stringing me along for over six weeks without making/informing me of a Big Important Decision. I’ve been progressing along the spectrum of hopeful/anxious/resentful, and now I’m way over on the resentful side, slanting over towards rage.
FRUSTRATION
2) Remember how every single day I think about how I need to transfer my car’s service contract/extended warranty from the former owner’s name to mine? And yet I’ve been unable to get to it for the LAST 13 MONTHS? Well, now the car needs major repairs, and apparently you’re supposed to do the transfer within 15 days of the sale. I have tracked down the former owner and she agreed to meet up and create the necessary paperwork and “updated” bill of sale, but she hasn’t committed to a meeting time, and I’m stressing out, because the transfer might take a few weeks and adorable car deserves prompt attention. And yes, I realize I have brought this on myself.
UNCERTAINTY
3) It looks like I am, in fact, going to attend cooking school in Oaxaca in March. And it’s going to be a mother-daughter trip, which delights me. I feel like it’s wrong to complain about any aspect of this. However, my mom has yet to respond to my scores of emails asking her for her flight preferences. So I can’t make reservations, and thus can’t settle into happy anticipation. Also: I’m unclear about how to handle the cost of this trip. It was established early on that at least part of it would be a birthday gift from my very generous parents. But there’s been no clarity on which part. My dad has offered to pay for the whole thing, but this makes me feel weird, since now, in addition to six nights in Oaxaca, we’re going to spend some time in Mexico City, and with all the flights it’s getting expensive. I feel compelled to make a contribution since the whole thing was my idea, but if my parents can afford all of it and they’re offering …
Posted by Dori at 11:25 AM
2 Comments
Ugh, the unpaid invoices completely sucks. But, it sounds like you have taken proactive steps to address the car warranty, which is great. (Better late than never.) As far as your parents paying -- your brother would accept their contribution without a thought. Can you? If it will come with strings, then you might want to consider not accepting it or only accepting a portion. However, if your parents' generosity is pure and doesn't involve major strings, why not accept it? (You could treat your mom to an extra nice dinner while in Mexico, or a massage, or something like that since you won't have to finance the whole trip.) I'm sure it means a ton to your mom to be included in your trip.
--Anne
Sorry about the rage inducing work situation. But your trip sounds like it is going to be fabulous and is inducing major jealousy twinges here. Especially since it's cold and dark here right now.
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