Material Girl?
I recently had an illuminating conversation with my friend A.P., with whom communication is sporadic but fantastic. Sometimes I think he understands me better than anyone in the world. We were talking about the demise of my “relationship” with Mr. O, and I related that I’d enjoyed the fine food, the iPod, and the apartment with the high-end bath products. Then I added, “I hope you don’t think I’m materialistic.”
And A.P. responded: “it’s not a question of whether you’re materialistic, but to what degree you’re materialistic.” This gave me much pause. I talked about how I don’t have (or want) fancy clothes or a souped-up car, and I buy stuff on craigslist, and I treasure my Crate and Barrel table because it’s beautiful, not because of the name brand. (Plus I got it for secondhand for $100.) And A.P. pointed out that buying things at a discount is just another type of materialism, because it amounts to “buying” a bigger bank account. Either want to have the stuff, or you want to have the money.
I think of materialism in terms of making wealth public. So, I would classify Mr. O as materialistic, because he covets Armani clothes and he has a new BMW and he goes to Vegas and hangs out in VIP lounges. And this is NOT my thing. If I had wealth, I would not want to show it off, and I would never, ever spend $60 on a T-shirt or enjoy “being seen” at an exclusive nightspot. BUT … the fact that I now have an iPod does make me feel cool. I used to be ashamed on the bus with my stone-aged headset and discman. Now I feel pleased to be a card-carrying MP3 owner. If I wasn’t status-conscious, why would I care about this? And would I love my Crate and Barrel table quite as much if it came from Bob’s Discount Furniture?
I’m not sure if being materialistic is the same as enjoying expensive things, or enjoying other people’s awareness of one’s expensive things. When I disparaged Mr. O’s trip to the VIP lounge, my wise friend D.M. pointed out that if the event were a black-tie inaugural ball for democrats, I’d be all over it. What’s the difference, exactly?
Your ponderings are most welcomed.
Posted by Dori at 1:39 PM
4 Comments
I wonder -- respectfully -- why does it matter? There's nothing wrong with buying things you like, and enjoying the things you have bought. Your iPod (for example) brings you happiness, and you could afford it. You didn't -- I presume -- hurt anyone or yourself to get it. And -- I presume again -- you're not waving it in people's faces and taunting them if THEY don't have an iPod. So, who cares?
I make a good salary, so I drive a nice car and buy expensive clothes (as well as cheapy ones!). I also donate time and money to several charities. It's all about balance. If your whole life is about upgrading to the next Mercedes model, you have a problem (and you're boring), but I think everyone gets pleasure out of something material (their iPod, their big screen, a new pair of really cute shoes), and that's okay too.
Finding a measure of happiness in a material item isn't bad, or wrong. It's normal. Life is too short to feel guilty about liking nice things, I think.
Love your blog!
One must consider motivations for buying stuff. I like the thrill of acquisition even if it's at the Garment District. But I take great pleasure in the items themselves - rather than the status they bring me - and I can deal with that sort of materialism. I don't care if someone has a BMW. I just don't want the burden of having to be impressed by it.
Also, consider the fine line between materialism and sensuality sometimes: iPods are just somehow delightful, in design as well as function. And I HATED the notion of the iPod - until one came free with the laptop I bought for school. Spendy bath products have a function even if they are spendy. And I am so over the martyred asceticism that haunted me through my early 20s. Sure, I get as much as I can used, but I will gladly pay full price on hair care products, certain shoes, really good lipstick, and CDs. Meanwhile a friend gave me my junky and beloved car, which is dented and perpetually on its last legs, and I get bulk grains and granola at the co-op. Everyone has a price and I feel okay with mine now.
The older I get the more freaky I get about big spending. It feels vulgar and uncomfortable to me when I consider the poor, so I try to get just what I need. And of course I still fail at that. I'm sure I'm more materialistic than I like to think I am.
About the C&B table bargain, I think your good feeling comes from beating the system. My big ol' desk, craiglisted for $250, was $1,000 at the Container Store. So I was pretty excited about that.
I don't think that having and enjoying nice things makes one materialistic. If the things become more important than other aspects of one's life--relationships, self worth, character, then it may be it is worth examining--but I think if you are concerned about it--I doubt you are even close.
Post a Comment
« Home