Redheads with Dumb Names
So I had brunch with Banter Boy (ex pseudo boyfriend) on Saturday. We IM fairly regularly, but I've steered clear of asking about his love life. I know he's been doing online dating, but have actively resisted asking for specifics.
When we were making brunch plans, however, it became clear that I was being squeezed into a very full social calendar, so I asked if his other commitments included dates. When he said yes, I asked if we were talking Internet dates or dates with a love interest, and he crushingly(but very kindly and appropriately) indicated the latter.
I really am fully over BB. We have a lot of fun together but are not meant to be a couple. Seriously.
But still, I do not want to know anything about this bitch. And so he told me only two things:
1) She has red hair (and BB has a thing for redheads)
2) Her name (a nickname, actually) sucks. Though it is very unlikely that any one of my legions of readers also has this name, I will refrain from using it and thus possibly causing offense. So let's just call this shrew "Muffy."
I told BB immediately that Muffy is a dumb name, and owned the fact that I hate that he's dating (and presumably having sex). I did not say that I was happy for him. (He appreciated this. He said "I'm glad you're jealous and that you're saying that you're jealous and opting out of the whole 'I'm happy for you' nonsense.") BB also sweetly acknowledged that he will feel equally jealous when I fall in love with the enigmatic fantasy man we call "Dr. Chef." (Dr. Chef is an ophthalmologist who conducts optical interventions in developing countries. He is an amazing foodie, and a really excellent listener.)
It makes no sense, and is in no way in keeping with my generally nice and reasonable soul, but I don't want any of my exes to fall in love. I want them to remain celibate and pine for me always. OK, not really. But there is a tiny part of me that clings to this notion.
Anyway. So in this holiday season, a time of peace and love and brotherhood, please join me in hating on Muffy the redhead.
Posted by Dori at 8:23 PM
7 Comments
Hating Muffy the redhead!
Sending out the hate vibes now!
I love you and this post, and Muffy sucks. She gets nothing but indignation and mockery from me and mine.
Muffy probably isn't even a real redhead, and I think she has ugly toes.
I used to work with a guy with a total thing for red hair. He said it had a "luminescent quality." Turns out he was married, and his wife did the red-hair thing one better. She was an albino! Her hair was pure white! It practically glowed in the dark! (She also had a serious vision impairment, which goes with the albino gene.)
I'm right there with you, sister.
Signing up for the hate fest.
-K
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