Strongly Worded

Another Cackle from the Universe

At the university where I work, there is a program that matches up Americans with international students/faculty for language exchange. I filled out the form and asked to be matched with a native Spanish speaker (because my once-fluent Spanish has become an embarrassment), or a native Hebrew speaker (I rarely use my similarly once-fluent Hebrew, and would prefer not to suck when when my Israeli cousins come to visit in May).

On the form, I indicated that I would also be amenable to being matched with someone from some random country who just wants to practice English. I envisioned chatting it up with a hip Czech or Korean or Moroccan girl, who might become my new BFF, and I'd take her to see the Freedom Trail, and drive her to Target, and she'd teach me Czech/Korean/Arabic swears, and how to make dumplings/kimchee/tagine.

Somehow I just assumed that I'd be matched with a woman. However, the coordinator emailed a few days ago and announced that my conversation partner is "Ziv." Some facebooking and linkedin-ing yielded a hot photo of an Israeli guy who is a few years older than me, who studied at some prestigious university and is now doing groundbreaking research in Boston. You'll be surprised to know that while I entertained some fleeting hopeful feelings about a love connection with Ziv, my general response was disappointment. Truly, I am not seeking out more stilted interactions with Jewish strangers. As you well know, I have enough of that in my life already.

It turns out, of course, that Ziv is married, so the fleeting hope was instantly crushed, and I was presented with an even more annoying scenario. I am not looking for awkward encounters with single guys, and I am definitely not looking to hang out with someone hot, Jewish, accomplished, and fucking unavailable. I seriously considered ditching the whole thing, and telling Ziv that I am just too busy to take on a conversation partner right now.

But then key members of Team Dori weighed in, and they all pointed out that if Ziv is nice, his wife might also be nice, and maybe even a BFF prospect. Ziv and his lady might have cool friends to whom I could be introduced. And it's possible (though unlikely) that Ziv himself may have a twin brother in search of a green card.

My non-date is on Monday night, and I will keep you posted.

Posted by Dori at 6:35 PM