Strongly Worded

Mean Girl

So one of the extremely cool things about my foster job is my relationship with the Admissions Girls*. These are a batch of women of similar age and mindset, who work down the hall from me and my extremely cool two co-workers. The Admissions Office has a microwave and a fax machine (whereas ours does not), so we visit the Admissions Girls on a fairly regular basis. Also, our office features a well-stocked basket of candy "for the students," so they Admissions Girls pop over to our end of the hall as well. In the name of Cultivating Interdepartmental Relationships, we periodically get together after work. It is super fun.

There is one exception, however. I experience"Elyse" as really mean. On my very first day at my foster job, I asked to use one of their fax cover sheets. I had never met her before and she rolled her eyes and said, "I don't know why you'd to use those heinous looking things, but help yourself."

I was taken aback, but I faxed, then scurried away. A few weeks later, I heard that she was in fact shy and that her Outer Bitch was shielding a warm and vulnerable soul. I was open to that, but then, on several occasions I heard her speak sharply about her boyfriend ("Why won't he fucking commit? I'm 36. We've been together 6 months. My lease is up. Let's get this goddamned show on the road.") and about her boss ("He's a perverted asshole.").

Then, last night, we all went out for drinks. She declared that her drink tasted like "nail polish remover" and wanted it to be comped. "Who's asking the bartender for a refund?" She demanded. "Who's the Jew here?"

And I was all ... whoa. I know that Elyse herself is Jewish, as she hastened to add. But I, and the other Jewish woman present, was both horrified and taken aback. We may be authorized to mock members of our own tribe, but it should be done in a playful way, not one that is hateful and perpetuates stereotypes.

Then she started hating on the admissions director. Apparently the director was leading a staff retreat and melted down while relaying the fact that her stepson had left for Iraq earlier that week. Said Elyse: "Who does that? It's her stepson, dude. Not her own kid. And who fucking cries at a staff retreat? How unprofessional is that?"

At this point, the other Admissions Girls briefly defended the director and changed the subject. It was clear that Elyse had crossed the line of decency. She said some more unkind things about various topics and I have concluded that while her bitterness may stem from some vulnerability, she is still pretty damn mean.

*Department name changed to protect privacy

Posted by Dori at 8:51 PM