Strongly Worded

Anti-socialite

Have I discussed yet how hard it is to see friends? I'm not sure if it's related to my city, my peeps, or my generation, but socializing has become dauntingly difficult. Between holidays, work commitments, family obligations, and travel, nobody has time to hang out. It takes ages, and many back-and-forth emails, to set up a get-together, and for this reason, everyone assumes everyone else is always booked, and so spontaneous rendezvous rarely happen (though a handful of my friends are awesome enough to pick up the phone and propose an activity for later that same day or night). I love my friends and I wish I could see them more often. And I admit I get lazy. I intend to initiate plans, and then instead I pull on my fleece pants and stay home watching Glee online. I also intend to reach out to people outside my circle (such as my new upstairs neighbors, and a friend of a friend who recently moved here), but then override those intentions by either a) donning the fleece pants or b) hanging out with the people I already know and love.

I bring this up because it is currently Saturday night, and I find myself in bed wearing fleece pants, having just watched a particularly wretched episode of Glee (The one with the wheelchairs. Blech). The love of my life is, at this moment, eating Senegalese food downtown, and for months I have been clamoring to eat Senegalese food. Originally, this dinner promised to rock. OM's extremely cool foodie friend, "Brian," planned to join us. Brian's peeps often call him OB Brian because he is so often Over Booked, and because of this we were especially excited to see him. But then, Brian invited this couple. And the couple invited another couple. And two other friends decided to come too. And suddenly the mellow evening had become an Event, with reservations for 10, and probably a round of introductions, and probably small talk with people we will never see again, and probably little to no quality time with Brian.

OM and I bitched about this at length. It sucks to go out to eat with a crowd because you need reservations, and there is never seating for such a big group, and so you end up eating either super early or super late. Also, there is usually much discussion about what to order, and people usually like to share, and you know what? I often prefer to order and enjoy my own meal. I don't necessarily want to eat what 9 other people want to eat, and I don't want to scrape a teeny bite of each shared entree onto my plate and consume a random muddle. I also don't want to pass up an extra treat because others are behaving abstemiously, nor do I want to subsidize the champagne, lobster, or foie gras of others. I hate the protracted check-paying process, and I really hate the distracted feeling that comes with multiple simultaneous conversations.

I dreaded this dinner all day, and ultimately asked OM if he would go without me. And he's a trouper and a superstar, and that's why he's out on the town and I'm curled up with the laptop.

Posted by Dori at 10:25 PM