Strongly Worded

Hobligations (Holiday Obligations): 2009 Edition

You know how I feel about this time of year, so I'll skip the grinching and discuss two new indignities with which I am currently wrestling.

Thing 1: Tomorrow my office is hosting a holiday party for our student workers, and tradition calls for everyone on staff to supply the baked goods, from which students will create study-fueling dessert assortments. We (the staff) were pretty much required to bake. A very pointed email went out in which we were reminded how much the student workers look forward to homemade treats, and how it's important that we prepare sufficient goodies for the onslaught.

Now: I know that you probably enjoy baking, because almost everyone I know enjoys baking. And even people I don't know (at least in real life) enjoy baking so much that they maintain baking-themed blogs. Whereas I do not like baking. I vastly prefer cooking and this weekend, having done both and reflected extensively on the topic, I can tell you why. The first reason is obvious: when you cook, you can "freestyle:" modify ingredients, seasonings, and quantities. You can do this throughout the process, and even afterwards, until you are satisfied with the outcome. Baking requires a lot more precision. And when it's done, it's done. There's no after-the-fact "seasoning to taste." The only real way to rescue a dessert gone wrong is to slather it with whipped cream. Also: when you're finished cooking, you have generally created something nourishing that you can feel good about, and you have achieved something (now you have lunch ready, or dinner, or whatever). In contrast, when you're finished baking, you end up with something warm and sweet and fattening, something that has potential to make you feel extremely guilty. And finally: desserts need to look pretty.

The upshot of this whole treatise is that I made some embarrassing-looking cookies. I figured that everyone else in the office is making gooey chocolate masterworks, or confections infused with seasonal mint-y flavors. So I opted for lemon cookies, which taste pretty delish but came out inconsistently sized and browned. The cookies are meant to have jam centers but the jam got all slippery and smudged and even in the best cases, the pale cookies with their raspberry centers look like nipples. I really hate to say it, but there you go. I am really worried that either a) people will mock my cookies or b) no one will eat them.

The second hobligation that is bringing me stress is the office yankee swap (also called a white elephant in some circles). This is the thing where everyone buys and wraps a gift valued at $15 or less, and then after a process of unwrapping and switching and deliberation, everyone ends up with something else valued at $15 or less. I had a few ideas for my yankee swap offering and nixed 'em. I deemed this adorable apron too borderline sexy (ho-ho-ho) for my much older co-workers. My friend A. suggested a Zagat dining guide, but I don't get the sense that the suburb-bound staff members dine out too often. And then a set of fabric-covered thumb tacks and magnets could be construed incorrectly as cheap. Again, I fear association with a lame/unwanted gift. After much perseveration, I just decided. I purchased bananagrams, which is a delightful cross between Boggle and Scrabble. After the nipple cookies, I figure I can go out on a limb.

Posted by Dori at 9:03 PM