Strongly Worded

Class Dismissed

So last week was the last day of the online class I've been teaching since mid-May. Now I'm grading papers and wishing I'd assigned a 5-7 page paper instead of a 7-10 page paper, especially since many of my striver students went above and beyond and produced 12-page monsters. Many of my students also chose the same topics (affirmative action and sexual harassment, for some reason), and thus I will ban these options next semester because I can't stomach reading more about Title IX and Clarence Thomas. One of the cool things about being a professor is the ability to ban topics. Another one is the ability to be magnanimous and give extensions (why should I care if a student turns in the paper two days late? She has a kidney infection, after all, and it's not as if I can grade all 16 papers in one day, anyway).

The last really cool thing about being a professor is getting good feedback, and thus I required the students to fill out a course evaluation. Since I have never taught college before and definitely never taught/learned online, I had no idea whether the class was typical or well-received or too much work or too easy.

So I was thrilled when the vast majority of students expressed that they learned a lot, that the class opened their eyes, and that (for the most part) they liked the course and found it valuable. The class is about women's leadership, and it included a lot of material that I consider old hat (women in leadership roles are judged more harshly than their male peers; women sell themselves short in performance reviews and salary negotiations; you probably know the drill). In fact, I was shocked to discover that few of my students (mostly juniors and seniors) had ever explored these issues before, and that many of them experienced egregious discrimination without realizing it.

Of course, several students complained about various aspects of the course, and I will take the complaints into account. But overall, this teaching gig has been a phenomenal learning experience, and a huge ego boost for me during a really discouraging time.

Anyone care to comment on the most illuminating class you ever took, in college or elsewhere?

Posted by Dori at 9:22 AM 4 comments

Mix and Match

Here is a random assortment of updates.

1) Before my relationship with BB is even cold in its grave, I've had multiple set-up offers. My mom has a friend of a friend whose son is single. Also my newish friend S. (How cool is it to have new-ish friends? Thanks to the beloved E. (a decidedly old friend who is a true connector (no matter how much she denies it), I've been introduced to several). Newish friend S. has three candidates for me. #1 is really lovely but just ended a 4-yr relationship. I said no way, since my last two love interests have recently ended 6 and 9.5-yr relationships and that has sucked. The second guy is 27 and planning to move away relatively soon. And the third guy? A MOT (member of the tribe)! A former doctor (now doing research at a prestigious place)! Short, but attractive! It sounded promising. S. emailed me his info, after which I googled him, after which I realized that we had, in fact met at a gathering months ago, and he had come off as decidedly nerdy (and not in a hot way). If he contacts me, I will give it a shot, but I was disappointed.

2) I saw BB on Wednesday. We ate takeout, watched back to back episodes of Top Chef, and also the first episode of Season 4 of the L Word (downloaded from iTunes). BB has cable and a fast computer. And we didn't make out!

3) I've been on a reading binge. I finished Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, which is Barbara Kingsolver (of Poisonwood Bible fame)'s account of her family's year on a Kentucky farm. They all limit their diets to locally grown food; they raise and "process" their own meat, grow and preserve their own produce, and make their own bread, cheese, etc.. The book included a lot of interesting information, and definitely raised my awareness of how fuel-consuming (and generally misguided) it is to ship tomatoes to New England from Brazil, when one can procure perfectly good ones at summer farmer's markets. But the book was preachy as all get out, and hammered home the point that the locally grown produce is much, much tastier than imported, and only slightly more expensive. At least in my area, this is patently untrue (you can get a bunch of scallions for 33 cents at the supermarket, or $1.00 at the farm stand; farm stand strawberries cost around $4). Also, for the vast majority of people in this country, paying "slightly more" for groceries would present an economic hardship. Most people aren't best-selling authors with the time and resources needed to grown their own food or even "pay a little more" or "travel out of the way a little" to get the locally grown stuff.

I also read Heat, an account of being a new York City restaurant slave/Tuscan pasta apprentice/butcher-in-training. Awesome book.

4) My haircut sucks. It's all crazy and I constantly am sticking clips in it to weigh down the ends.

5) My newly ergonomic home office does not include ergonomic seating. Despite putting blankets and pillows on my hard-but-stylish desk chair, my back and ass were killing me. Yesterday I got a $15 office chair on craigslist. It's not at all chic, but back and ass are on the mend.


I think that's all for now.

Posted by Dori at 10:00 AM 2 comments

My Contract Job Involves Calling Strangers to Set Up Interviews

What I've been saying, in a perky, friendly voice:
"Hi, my name is Dori, I'm a consultant working for [Influential Lobbying/Trade Group]. The Group's Director sent out a memo a few weeks ago, asking your boss to connect me with someone in your office. I'm calling to follow up and set up a meeting. Please give me a call back when you can; if you're not the right person to speak with, please let me know who is. Thanks so much!"

What I've been wanting to say, in a mad, pissy voice:
"Hi, my name is Dori, and I have taken on the hellish task of getting information from 8 billion member institutions and then writing a snappy report. Many of the other members are bigger and more prestigious than yours, and yet they have responded to my requests. In contrast, your boss never got back to the Association's director and did not respond to the memo in any way. So I spent approximately 6,000 years picking through your poorly organized website to find your name. I called about 19 of you colleagues trying to figure out that you're my man. I sent you an email and called you and you won't call me back. It sucks that eventually I will have to meet you in person and act grateful for your time, but I will ensure that it happens because it's in my contract to do it. I know voicemail and email are hard to manage. Maybe you need this message to be sent via carrier pigeon? A singing telegram? Too bad. I can't expense poultry or performance art. So call me the fuck back."

Posted by Dori at 8:36 AM 4 comments

Thinking + Thoughts

I am in a generally crummy mood, what with the parting of ways with Banter Boy, the increasing isolation of self-employment, and the fact that I have somehow gained 3 lbs. In general I do not obsess about my weight (and I do not even weigh myself regularly), but I noticed some flab and the scale confirmed it. So that means more exercise and less snacking. Sigh.

But I'm following Molly's lead and trying to focus on the positive. Molly is also in a bad mood and 18 of her readers came up with happy things for her to think about. If you can hook me up with some happy things, by all means, do so. I'll start off with some of my own.

1) I came up with a kick-ass potato salad "recipe". Basically you peel and dice and boil potatoes until they are cooked but not mushy. Then you make a dressing with "semi-roasted" garlic (douse a clove of garlic with olive oil, wrap it in foil, and pop it in the toaster oven on 400 degrees for about 15 minutes. Or longer if you have more patience.). Mash the garlic into a paste. Add olive oil, lemon juice, and a tablespoon of mayo or sour cream. Whisk. Then chop up a ton of dill, the green parts of a bunch of scallions, and basil if you have it (if you don't have it, use a tablespoon of prepared pesto). Combine with potatoes until coated. Season liberally with salt and pepper. Mix in crumbled goat cheese. Savor the delicious and colorful results.

2) I got my last paycheck from my old job. It is a nice boost. Also I got a parting gift from the Board--a spa gift certificate. The certificate is for $100. Since I'm focusing on the positive, I'm not going to calculate how much each of the ten Board members spent on this, after working with me for three years. Irrelevant, right? $100 is enough for a facial, which will behoove me.

3) I went to a cool book reading of The Battle Over the Meaning of Everything: Evolution, Intelligent Design, and a School Board in Dover, PA. The book is about a court case in which a fundamentalist school board was sued after it tried to make its science department teach creationism. Because I'm focusing on the positive, I won't dwell on the fact that people are trying to teach creationism in 2007, and rather emphasize the quality of the book and the coolness of the author.

4) I got a haircut. While I'm pretty sure it will start to look zany once I wash it, it looks cute now:

Posted by Dori at 2:28 PM 9 comments

Remember the Maine

So I spent last weekend with Banter Boy at his parents'. His parents worked hard all their lives with the goal of retiring one day and buying a house on an island in Maine. They made their dreams come true and they are happy in a lovely, inspiring, obvious way.

I liked them so much and I loved seeing them with BB. People's interactions with their parents are so telling, and it's clear that BB was raised in a loving family with excellent limits and boundaries. I got to pore over photo albums with BB's mom and see how adorable he was as a baby/child. He was also quite hot as a teenager, once he emerged from a really unfortunate multiple-year-long fashion/eyewear faux pas.

Despite the success of the weekend, BB and I had some Conversations in which it became clear that we're not meant to be a couple, at least right now. This is more hope-breaking than heart-breaking (to borrow Hilary's term), but it deeply sucks, given how well we get along and how much fun we have together, and given his prowess with the drill.

I'm sure we'll keep in close touch given the complete and utter lack of drama or conflict. Plus, we'll always have Maine ...

Posted by Dori at 10:16 AM 9 comments

Engineering Marvel

You all know I have a Thing for doctors (which may be part of a genetic/religious predisposition). And thus I may have failed to mention that Banter Boy (recent love interest), is an engineer. My dad is a chemical/food engineer, which means that while he can tell you (at length) how the creators of raisin bran disburse the raisins evenly throughout the flakes, or why Jell-O quivers, he is pretty useless in the home improvement department.

Banter Boy (BB), in contrast, is an aerospace engineer, which means he knows a lot about spacecrafts and airplanes, and, more importantly, is a DIY genius.

I have a laptop computer at home, which is not good for my RSI-afflicted wrists. So I bought an ergonomic keyboard, mouse, and keyboard tray, and BB agreed to help install it. It never occurred to me that the keyboard and the tray might not fit between the drawers of my desk, and that I should have measured it first. Alas. BB charged up the drill and got ready for the installation, and then quickly broke the news: there was no way it was going to work. I immediately scoured the web for smaller keyboards and trays, but they pretty much all come in one size.

BB suggested I get a new desk, which I absolutely do not want to do because 1) I am in no financial position to be buying furniture and 2) buying a desk would involve shopping, schlepping, and assembly and most importantly 3) I wanted the whole thing done with immediately.

BB assessed the situation and uttered sentence that to me is pure seduction, almost as hot as "let me make you a goat cheese souffle": I could build you a desk.

I'm sure he was envisioning a building project in the somewhat distant future. But I was seized with joy and determination. How about today? How about now? BB conceded that we could buy a plain door at Home Depot and reconfigure the desktop so that the tray would fit beneath it. I was thrilled. I got my car keys and my purse.

BB put his hand on my arm in a gentle and non-patronizing way (again, hot). "Dori," he said. "How is an 8-ft door going to fit in your Honda Civic?" Again, this had never occurred to me. I was crushed. My wrists were going to wither and die. But brilliant BB suggested we check to see if the back seat of my car folds down, and it does. It does! I've had the car for over a year and who knew it has this lovely, pro-home decor feature?

While skipping through Home Depot, it also didn't occur to me that the 8-ft door would still stick out of my car, folded seats or no. BB gently suggested that we needed bungee cords to secure it. And, it turns out that the trunk (all trunks, I'm learning) is specially outfitted with a little notch for bungee cords. Brilliant! Who knew?

We got the door home swiftly and smoothly and BB wielded the drill and worked some magic with the screws, and behold the results.

Ergo, heaven:

Posted by Dori at 5:53 PM 8 comments

Some Things About Being Self-Employed

So today marks a whole week in which I have lived sans soul-sucking job. Last week was actually quite busy and included an informational interview, five meetings, the grading of about 45 pieces of student writing, an encounter with my old boyfriend (the oncologist--he's seeing someone and I really hate it), and a going-away party in my honor (hosted by thoughtful higher-ups at my former job, who have procured a gift certificate for me. It's in the mail, they say. I have no idea what it's for but I hope it's good!). In the midst of all this, I had time to apply for exactly one new (and really awesome) full-time job. There is another large pile of job openings right next to my computer, beckoning and repelling me in equal measure.

This new life is weird and I am busy setting arbitrary limits and boundaries. I feel strongly that I should get up at 7:45 a.m., just as I always have, and wear presentable clothing even though I may be home alone for much of the day. Because I am maintaining a semblance of professionalism, I heap guilt upon myself when e-socializing or blogging, and I have this reflexive feeling that I shouldn't be wasting time during the workday when really? The workday now lasts exactly as long as I want it to.

It makes just as little sense that I resent work stuff spilling over into the weekend/evening, despite the fact that weekend days and weekdays differ very slightly now, and 9 to 5 is just a construct.

And I have some concerns, of course. I may become fat. It is very tempting to peruse the kitchen cabinets during lulls in inspiration. I possess some very tasty eats, including a beguiling olive tapenade and a vegetable dip with something like 16 grams of fat per tablespoon. I also have some concerns that I will become broke. In the last week, I spent $274 on a car thing, $110 on medications, and over $20 on public transportation. I offset these expenses only somewhat by consuming homemade iced coffee and resisting the siren song of the Dunkin' Donuts.

But my soul remains quite intact, so I'm cautiously optimistic for now.

Posted by Dori at 3:48 PM 4 comments