Hasta Luego
So I lived in Spain right after college, and I made some really good friends. I worked in a university and for years I'd email all my peeps and wish them happy holidays. I also emailed them in solidarity when that train blew up outside of Madrid, and in shame/apology after Bush was re-elected.
At first, I'd get batches of excited emails in return, and periodically someone from the department would email me to say hi, or to share some key piece of news (scandalous: a professor married his student/TA, who left her live-in fiance for him; terrible: a sweet, always under-the-radar researcher killed herself unexpectedly). Then my Spanish started to suck more and more, and so I stopped initiating these exchanges. Last year was the first time in eight years that I didn't send a holiday message. I figured it's time to move on. I've gotten better at accepting that not all friendship is life-long, and that it's perfectly OK to drift apart. In fact, no drama or conflict is required.
Today is Agueda's birthday. Agueda was my closest Spanish friend, and I flew to Spain in 2001 for her wedding (she has since divorced, which is considered rare and terrible). I've debated all day whether to email her to wish her well, but it seems sort of pointless, somehow. It's doubtful that I'll ever see her again. For all intents and purposes, our friendship is over.
But ... still ... there is probably some reason why I didn't forget her birthday, right? I will post this and send a crudely written Spanish email her way.
Posted by Dori at 5:21 PM
Not this, that, here nor there
I am in one of those moods. I can't figure out what to eat. I made/ate a pasta dinner, but have remained peckish and since consumed hot chocolate, two jars of baby food (People tell me it is incredibly weird, but I just love those creamy bananas and the Gerber riffs on apricots, pears, and peaches - and the containers they come in are so, so adorable.), and chocolate covered pretzels. I want something else, and can't figure out what. (I suspect Thai food, which is what I should have procured in the first place).
Also I can't figure out what to do, and I am definitely not in the mood for taxes, grading papers, going anywhere, reading, or cooking anything. But blogging doesn't suck (so far) so I am going to share some recent discoveries with you.
1) It turns out that one can watch almost anything online (via Youtube and some sites that are less legit), and therefore I am up to speed on
The L Word (I love this season's movie-within-a-movie, and I love to hate Jenny (aka the most fucking annoying wench of all time), but I am perturbed by the fact that last season's foray into socioeconomic and racial diversity has all but ended). I have also watched the entire third season of
Weeds, and am almost current on
Project Runway (Is it just me or has some of the magic disappeared?)
. While watching TV on my laptop in my home office is less cool than kicking back in front of the TV, it is free. And one of my blogger role models, Maven is all
about free/deeply discounted these days, so I feel she would approve.
2) In housekeeping news, let me follow up on the baking recommendations you all made. I was not able to find silpats at my local housewares store, but I did hook myself up with an oven thermometer and it turns out that I have an extremely accurate oven. So the problem lies with me and I am going to get me some silpats and get to the bottom of things.
3) Next, let me tell you that dryer sheets do a number on soap scum. I have been struggling with this issue for some time, and last week spent some quality time on the Internet, followed by some scrubbing in the tub. The dryer sheets were surprisingly effective. Apparently ammonia and goo-gone are also good bets. And while we're talking about cleaning, I would welcome some suggestions on organic/eco-friendly dish soap that smells like soap and not like lavender, pears, mint, citrus, or "nothing". Inspired by
Big W, I am weaning myself off of conventional household products, and have been thus far unsuccessful in the dish soap department.
4) I'd also like to introduce you to kayak.com, which a co-worker told me about. This is a travel site, much like orbitz or travelocity, but it allows you to include parameters, so that in searching for a flight on a certain date, you can specify what is acceptable to you in terms of total travel time, stopovers, and departure times, and you get customized search results and don't end up with pages and pages that list 80 billion flights that leave at 2:00 a.m.. or whatever. It also has fare forecasts that can inform your trip planning. I am not doing the site justice, you should check it out.
5) It is a good time for shopping. My generally blah and PMS mood was lifted somewhat by my purchase of these boots:
And these shoes:
And that's all I have for now.
Posted by Dori at 9:07 PM
UpDATE #501,218
So the promising, question-asking guy?
We had a week of some witty e-banter. Mainly I liked it, but I had two reservations:
1) his email address is the equivalent of riverfreak@lycos [what is
that?]
2) his spelling is quite bad
But whatever. Small concerns. I rocked my Date Shirt and Date Jeans and even put on some eyeliner, because he proposed that we meet up at a hip bar.
The instant we met, I knew it was a no go. He is not thin and not hot (and his photo suggested potential for hotness, though it was admittedly very grainy), and he just immediately emitted this vibe that conveyed: I AM NOT DORI'S HUSBAND. Over the course of the conversation, I learned that he smoked pot through most of college and didn't finish his degree. He spent two years after high school working at TCBY and writing a sci fi fantasy novel that he never even tried to publish. His violent behavior got him kicked out of a progressive Quaker middle school. And his work? "R&D" for a local company that manufactures multi-color lightbulbs and garden pest repellents. Also the company "consults" with other manufacturers to help them find factories in Asia. (This sounds sweat-shoppy and child-labor-y to me, but I could be way off base.) Each of these things, taken separately, could be OK, but together they support the central thesis presented the instant we met: WE ARE NOT GOING TO FALL IN LOVE.
We had a kind of boring but perfectly polite conversation, and at 8:45 p.m. I said it was "getting late" and we got the bill and hugged and parted ways. He seems like a really nice person.
But still, this is just never going to happen.
Posted by Dori at 9:16 PM
I'm So Excited
... and I just can't hide it.
My friend R.I.B.S (unfortunate acronym - I know) is coming to visit. In about five hours she will be here! R.I.B.S lives in California (Los Angeles). Though she attended my college, I didn't meet her until after I graduated. She was doing her junior year abroad in Spain, and I was doing a post-graduate fellowship there, and some mutual acquaintance (I can't remember who), told her that we'd be living in the same city. Before we left, she called and introduced herself, and suggested we get in touch once we were both settled in. I was dubious. I'd done junior year abroad myself, and I knew that she'd want to spend time with Spanish people and/or new BFFs from her program, and not some random American chick she didn't even know.
But I was wrong. A few weeks later, R.I.B.S contacted me, and we met for crepes in
Plaza Nueva, and she described her experience with her Spanish conversation partner, who seemed kind of meh, not very
effusive. I will always remember that she used that word (effusive - people didn't say "meh" back then), not just because it was on the GRE, but because it was exactly the right way to describe the guy and the circumstances, and this is classic R.I.B.S, as I would later learn.
It turned out that R.I.B.S did make some American friends with the people from her study abroad program, but many of them behaved in drunken and culturally insensitive ways. And she did bond with her host family. But we also became extremely close. I lived in an apartment and we made Thanksgiving dinner for my Spanish roommates. We bitched about how hard it was to integrate into Spanish social life, and about various frustrating aspects of living in Spain. (This is just part of the study abroad experience. As much as you want to appreciate and admire everything about the culture, and avoid hanging out with fellow foreigners, there is an immediate respite/shared bond among countrymen.)
For her birthday, R.I.B.S planned a picnic lunch, and invited an international mix of people, and it remains one of my best memories of my time there. It was a hot, languorous afternoon, and we all milled around on blankets, watching kids chase flocks of doves around the park. Somehow all the birthday guests communicated and bonded because R.I.B.S was the hostess and that's her way.
Anyway. We both moved back to the U.S., and she finished college and moved back to California, and became a brilliant therapist, which is just the right job for someone with her insight and kindness. For a while, we talked every Sunday, but then it got complicated with the time zones and assorted barriers, so now we connect every few weeks, and see each other maybe once a year. I find that California is nicer and warmer than New England, so when I visit, we go rollerblading and eat at the
Rose Cafe. Last time I saw R.I.B.S she was
getting married, and now that she's coming we can have some peaceful time together, which is just fantastic.
Posted by Dori at 1:10 PM
Promising Potential UpDATE
So I've been emailing back and forth with this guy, and despite some spelling mistakes, he seems pretty damn cool (One of his favorite books is
The Poisonwood Bible, from back before Barbara Kingsolver got all organic and preachy).
The really intriguing part? He asked me questions. They are really good, fodder for a meme, I even think. Plus, I've addressed most of these in the blog (not that I told him that).
But in case you're interested:
1) What do you do for a living?
Striving to find a fulfilling job in higher education. Eventually want to be a dean.2) Who is/are your favorite author(s)?
I covered this here.3) What is the most outstanding part of the worst date you have ever had?
So many possible answers, but the third date with "Mark" was a winner. As was the final date with Dr. Surgeon.4) Do you consider yourself a good dancer?
No. Dancing makes me self-conscious.5) How many times have you been in love?
Seven times. Note that the "abridged history of my love life" does not include my short-lived -yet-intense romance with an oncologist (that was 2005).
Posted by Dori at 7:47 PM
Foodie Failures
I think it is the blogosphere that has inspired me. So many of you bake.
Jen has just found the perfect molten chocolate cake recipe, after numerous tests (she recently created a seven course meal in honor of her (former chef) husband's birthday. Hilary bakes so often that she has a
regular blog and a
baking blog). And the beloved
Robyn makes all kinds of baked goodness (and canned goodness!) in addition to bags, headbands, placemats, and beautifully sewn things of all kinds.
Until now, I've always stuck to the savory. I am fascinated by food and can cook pretty decently, although my knife skills are atrocious and my sauce-making ability is nascent. I have made some perfectly acceptable cakes and brownie type items, but they are rarely delectable. My pumpkin-cranberry bread and banana oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are my only reliably tasty baked creations.
So. It's sucky outside and people at my work (students
and staff) inhale baked goods like you wouldn't believe. So I've decided to experiment. A while back I made cornmeal sugar cookies, which are the kind of cookies you roll out and cut out (a new process for me). They were acceptable, but in no way delicious. Last week I made chocolate chip cookies. Those puppies cook really fast, and two thirds of them burned, putting them below even the (low) threshold of Food College Students Are Willing To Consume. Today I made raspberry muffins that baked through in half the time specified by the recipe. They did not puff up to the extent I desired. Also: the newly purchased flour I used smelled kind of musty, and I thought that perhaps the mustiness would vanish in the oven. It did not, and so I just threw out a dozen muffins, plus 5 lbs of flour.
I'm wondering if my oven is hotter than it's supposed to be, or if I have the wrong baking equipment (bottom-of-the-line cookie sheets from Target - do I need to trade up?).
Or: maybe I just need to accept that I'm missing a baking gene, and stop wasting food and time.
Posted by Dori at 4:00 PM
This Guy Makes The Dutch Falconer Seem Normal
"Hi I am Joe. I don't think we are an exact match but your post looked intriguing so I thought I would write. I am looking for a Jewish woman who is secular but doesn't care whether I am
religious or not because sometimes I embrace it and sometimes I reject it. I am a professional artist and writer volunteering twice a week and looking to go back to work soon. I wrote two books one was published last year regarding losing a parent to Cancer. My second book is about my own fight with Cancer (which is gone now). I am a very strong person and although life has been hard I thank God for the honor to receive Cancer so I could write about it and share my experiences with others and offer hope and solace that I didn't give up on life or on God and neither do they have to. Hope to hear from you soon."
Posted by Dori at 11:28 AM
Should this even lead to an upDATE?
On Sunday, I posted a woman-seeking-men post on craigslist. It conveyed my wit and brilliance. I received a bunch of messages, none compelling. On Monday I received a semi-compelling message. Behold:
DUTCH GUY [his name sounds Dutch, but who the hell knows]: Great post. Probably easiest to just google me, or check out the link below. [Link leads to a university alumni page with some impressive biographical info on him and a decent photo.]
ME: (slightly weirded out, but bored enough to reply): You sound great, but this is all very resume-y. What are you like as a human being?
DUTCH GUY: Wait, wait, wait... first things first ... what do you look like?
ME: Here is a photo.
DUTCH GUY: OMG! Bonafide cutie!
ME (slightly weirded out, esp. by the use of the term "OMG"): Now, please share!
DUTCH GUY: Well ... let's see originally from X City, lived in Y City for 5 years ... now focusing on Clinical Psychology Ph.D process ... I used to paint - oils were my favorite medium, just they take so damn long to dry [???]! traveled around a bit - been a bit of a nomad, I'm sure you know the story... [meaning you were in jail? Rehab?] Favorite city (so far) -- Amsterdam [because of the pot???]/Tokyo and saw the Napoleon exhibit on it's [ICK - I HATE it when people use apostrophes inappropriately] last day a couple Sundays ago at the MOFA; the place ROCKS! [weird to refer to museum in this way, is it not?] Currently getting relicensed as a Falconer [WTF???] and spend most of my life in the library, studying (how the hell else can you have a 3.7 GPA [SNOB ALERT?] at [Prestigious School], lol [lol????]) - so no life to speak of...
AND NOW...it's your turn, again...
Readers: is this the bottom of the barrel? Should I give him a continue this conversation?
Posted by Dori at 7:22 PM
Back to the Land of the Living
So I've survived the event from hell: the two-part, 16-day event I've been bitching about for the last billion years. On Wednesday, I experienced a minor meltdown (which took the form of an unprofessional office rant), and I sat in my chair and put my head between my knees because it didn't seem humanly possible that I would get through the next two days. It seemed impossible that the event would ever be over.
And then, not-so-suddenly, it was. On Friday afternoon, I was crawling on my hands and knees picking paper clips off the conference room floor (dubbed "mission control" for the duration - it was the setting of my and my five student workers' toil - a windowless room with no phone and no cell service, that I came to associate with a coal mine). And then I threw out the paper clips and stood up and walked out and closed that godforsaken door behind me and got the fuck out of there.
I don't know what else to say about it. I'm so glad it's done. It went well, and I got great feedback from industry partners and students.
Anyway. It may already be obvious but I am relieved but not joyful. I have to deal with the boxes of random papers and supplies that the event puked up. I have to write thank you notes and stuff. And figure out what my job is, now that my foster job is pretty much done. My boss needs to figure that out, actually, and while she has been talking for a long time about keeping me on, there's no concrete information to back that up. I have other applications in, but have thus far gotten no love from other employers, despite my glorious semester at the Very Prestigious School (VPS) where I currently work. I hope(d) that having VPS on my resume would catapult me out of the purgatory known as Switching Career Fields, but thus far it has not.
To further reduce my joy, my old boyfriend (not Banter Boy, the ex who is dating
that slut with the dumb name) just called me, and
he's practically
moving in with some chick about whom I know too little to scorn (but if you want to spew about how inferior she is to me - just by definition - I won't object). This gives me further impetus to get my ass back on JDate or Match or the purgatory known as Internet Dating Du Jour, but the aforementioned ass is extremely weary.
I wish I had something redeeming to add, but other than the delightful upcoming visit of my Californian friend R.I.B.S., the horizon is looking rather bleak. Like my beloved friend
Melinda, I am feeling some serious
Seasonal Affective Disorder coming on.
Posted by Dori at 1:29 PM
