Sundry updates and UpDATE #500,222
So I wish I had riveting news for you; alas, I do not.
I met Jen of
Quarter Life Crisis last week, which was extremely cool. I found Jen years ago, on some blog traffic exchange site we both frequented back in the day. There are some very, very bad blogs on that site (which neither of us visits anymore). Many of the blogs are about politics and computers, and they are not just poorly written but also breathtakingly boring. Still, I found Jen and
Sophie on there, two exceptions that prove the rule. Jen was in Boston for a convention, so we had dinner and I got to find out uncensored specifics about her lovely Seattle situation. She is the first blogger I've met in real life.
I did a bunch of cooking this weekend, and met with a tax person who saved me mad loot (Turbo Tax led me far, far astray and had me owing $600 too much). I saw
21 (Hollywood-saturated, but fun), and also I went on a truly meh date with
Racing Guy, with whom I followed up purely because of dearth of other prospects. I think my tank of Bubbly Outgoing Behavior is nearing empty, and so I let the conversation lag on several occasions. Racing Guy barely picked up the slack, and after an hour of unremarkable-but-not-excruciating conversation, I was sure we could pack it up and go home, but then he suggested we transition from cafe to bar. So we went to a bar and I marveled at how two people in the same interaction can have two vastly different perceptions of it (namely I thought it was deadly dull and he thought it was intriguing enough to continue). We parted ways cordially and I doubt I'll hear from him, but who the hell knows.
I have a wicked headache. Have a good week.
Posted by Dori at 8:33 PM
Boys, Guys, Men
So I've been spurned by the Canadian. It's a shame, really. I liked him and he's a good listener and I know all too well how rare and wonderful that is. In one of our first conversations, I introduced the concept of boys vs. guys vs. men, and Canadian was tickled by this, and asked me to elaborate.
In a somewhat simplistic response, I said that a boy never calls (either because of lack of courage or lack of interest), a guy calls after a week (because of stupid-ass games), and a man calls the next day. I understand that in dating parlance, a lack of follow-up tacitly conveys a lack of interest (as the SATC cliché goes: "he's just not that into you"), and that is cool. However, it is not cool
at all when one of the date participants has clearly conveyed feelings to the contrary. I followed up with Canadian yesterday, and proposed a third get-together, and asked him to tell me either way if he was down. If yes, I figured, then let's get things going, like
now, because if I'm going to fall in love I would like it to happen as soon as humanly possible. If not, I'll be disappointed, but can at least stop checking email and obsessing. I will move on with my life and go out with some other people who will surely provide good blog fodder if not lasting love. A non-response just sucks. It is boy behavior. It is fitting, perhaps, for a native of a country under totalitarian regime. It is
not acceptable coming from a native of Canada, known for its progressive politics, pure maple syrup, and friendly, eh-emitting residents.
I was going to continue in this vein, and talk about the differences between men and guys, but ultimately the distinction is very case-by-case, and in many ways akin to p*rn, which, to use another cliché, one knows when one sees. I would add, though, that despite his sucky non-follow-
up, Canadian appears quite manly. He is a homeowner (evidence of stability and the desire to establish roots and all that), he is close with his family (and even helped his divorced mom navigate the ins and outs of online dating), he seems to really get relationships (and described an intercultural romance in a pretty awesome, insightful way), and he appears to have a healthy social life, set of intriguing hobbies, and ability to balance professional and personal goals.
Alas. There are probably good reasons why he perceives a lack of fit, but there aren't so many available men out there these days, and culling through the guys feels very unappealing.
Posted by Dori at 8:13 PM
UpDATE #501,221
So. Date with Canadian was good but left me with an unsettled feeling. We went to a museum, and he mocked the contemporary art, which is better than pretending he liked/appreciated it, but which definitely shed light on his well-developed smart-assy side. Then we went out for brunch and had an awesome conversation about professional pursuits and living abroad. He shared a very intriguing relationship story and maybe I was a little too fascinated. I may have weirded him out. When we parted ways, I said it would be great to get together again and he said "definitely" in an unconvincing way. Now I know I've got some obsessing in my future.
Anyway. That's the latest. I was really excited about today and now it's over and I have to just wait and see what happens. How much does this suck?
Posted by Dori at 3:28 PM
UpDATE #501,220
So when it rains, it pours. I was complaining about my deeply boring life and then – poof! Things accumulated and now I find myself deep into a week in which I’ve had back-to-back commitments for many, many nights. Most of it is fun (seeing adult friends and also a new baby friend, namely A.’s newborn girl, who, at 4 weeks, is probably the youngest person I’ve ever met). Some of it is less fun (blind date with co-worker’s son’s friend – see below). And some of it is not much fun at all (meeting on health care quality facilitated by a truly smack-worthy, self-important woman).
Also: one difficulty of online dating is that when you start you strike up conversations with a bunch of people, and you want to rule them out one at a time, but instead have to juggle them and find time to go out with them and keep track of who is a criminal prosecutor and who is in business school and who is a start-up guy. And you have to remember which banter occurred with each individual, and that is tiring. I haven’t kept up as well as I should have.
Actual UpDATE
I went out with co-worker's son's friend. He was a really nice guy but absolutely no sparks. Nothing notable or entertaining or blog-worthy. He did, however, tell me about
just give, a site where you can make a donation on someone's behalf, and they get to choose the charity. An old friend of mine (with whom I've mainly lost touch) has invited me to her wedding. She's not registered anywhere, so I'm going to get her a "just give" certificate.
Update on the last UpDATE
I confirmed that the Canadian did in fact earn two degrees from the Very Prestigious School at which I work. In stalking him in the alumni directory, followed by Facebook (my officemate's account), I discovered that one of the Canadian's facebook friends is a JDate guy with whom I am also corresponding. How weird is that?! The Canadian and I are planning to go out on Sunday. I am excited and also nervous.
Possible UpDATE
I've been corresponding with this guy who seems cool (he's a criminal prosecutor) and well-traveled. He is, however, really into the equivalent of the Daytona 500. He pays homage to the Daytona 500 on his profile. In our email conversation, he described his travel experiences as follows: "In addition to my annual pilgrimage to the Daytona 500, I have also visited Vietnam, Sudan, and Greece." When I asked him WTF, he provided a detailed account of how awesome it is, and listed, by name, all the friends that share his love for the event and travel with him each year. Is it time to cut off contact? I welcome your thoughts.
Posted by Dori at 9:05 PM
Baking Update & UpDATE #501,219
So. As you know, I am trying to develop my baking and dessert-making skills. I got a powerful mixer (early birthday present) and the highly recommended
silpats (silicon baking sheets). I made some perfect chocolate chip cookies last week. They were strikingly evenly browned. Which is a good thing, since one silpat retails for $19.99.
Then I got all crazy and decided to branch out culinarily by making
these lemon raspberry cupcakes. I have never made cupcakes before, but the peeps at
Bon Appetit seemed to think that these particular gems could be executed in 30 minutes of "hands-on" time. My friends: I spent maybe two hours on those suckers, and yet still, they bubbled over the muffin tin and then each one imploded into a raspberry-lemon crater. I took my friend A.'s wi
se cooking advice: cosmetic culinary mishaps can be covered up with generous sprinklings of parsley (for savory dishes) or whipped cream (for desserts). So I cut up some strawberries, popped 'em into the craters, whipped up some cream. Voila! Lemon raspberry shortcakes. They were amazingly good.
I also went on a date. You guys should give me colossal props because I am back on JDate. I have been corresponding with several people (many of them promising, except for this one super nice nephrologist (kidney doctor) who seems cute and nice but not in the least bit interesting, so I have cut off that conversation).
Today I went out with a Canadian. It was really date 1.5 (and not a first date), because we had a lengthy phone conversation last week. I deserve major props for this also, because I hate hate hate calling people. I like email and meeting in person. Am not into the phone. But we had a very nice call, during which he claimed to hold two degrees from the Very Prestigious School in which I am currently working. There is nothing notable about this (it's nice, but not very important), but I spent a very long time stalking him through the alumni directory, which was tough because I didn't know his last name. I could not find anyone with his rather common first name/graduation year/appropriate major. But now that I know his surname, I will try again. He better not be fucking lying.
We met in person this afternoon and I learned that: he is very cute (a shocker!); he is a homeowner and just this weekend had 3 rooms painted in attractive colors; he speaks French fluently; his parents are therapist and a physician (helping professions --> sensitive progeny?);
he plays bass (bossa nova music); and he just seemed like a really lovely person.
AND ... get this:
he listened and asked questions!
Posted by Dori at 8:04 PM
Mind Your Mannerz
So because college students can be a tad awkward at times, our office provides training in professional etiquette.
An etiquette consultant (Ms. Jones) gave a presentation last week, and students were required to write her a thank you note, as practice. We collected the notes and read them, and most were polite and appropriate.
Except this one:
Yo waddup Mizz Jones,
That shizzle you pulled in the hizz'ouse today was some crazy crunk stuff. Now I have social skillz that kill. Youse a hot mama [she kind of is] and I be itchin' to practizzle some of those moves. Hit me up, dawg. Call me: xxx-xxx-xxxx.
We did some googling and reverse dialing and handwriting analysis, and figured out who the joker is. But none of us could bring ourselves to take him to task. The whole episode was just too damned hilariouz.
Posted by Dori at 9:47 PM
Taboo, Math & Science Style
So my boss (a dean-type person) hosted a celebratory dinner for staff and student workers.
She held the dinner at her very lovely house, and she served a lot of lovely food, and I was pleased and surprised to find that our 13 student workers all attended. As I've mentioned, our department is all about the science, and I live slightly vicariously through these people, who have their whole lives ahead of them and know how to distribute algorithms and de-bug code and invent stuff, and will probably always enjoy financial security and probably never suffer a demoralizing job search such as mine, unless of course their potential jobs get shipped to India, which is no dim possibility. But I digress.
Towards the end of the evening we busted out the game Taboo (which you must immediately procure if you don't already own it). As a graduate of a liberal arts college, I thought I would kick ass in this arena, because, unlike these students, I use
words in my day-to-day life.
But they were, once again, wicked impressive.
For "darkroom": "
this is a location in which there's an absence of lumens"
For "cone"
, nothing about sorbet or dunce caps or what have you. The word was instantly conveyed
as
"a geometric shape ending in a point."
Posted by Dori at 9:49 PM
Bori McBoring
A friend of a friend claims her boobs are sagging, despite the fact that she's a childless young lass of 36, and one sporting an unremarkably moderate rack. I checked in with a male friend who's dated women of this age, and he assured me that in his experience, gravity doesn't usually act so cruelly or so quickly. A relief.
The thread? Friend of friend refers to herself as Saggy Saggerstein. And that has inspired me to reintroduce myself to all of you. Call me Bori McBoring.
Everything is just the same old fucking same old.
Job situation: still applying, still at foster job, still waiting to find out whether foster job will morph into permanent job. Still no word on when/if this will happen. I am incredibly sick of thinking and talking about this, and will leave it at that.
Love situation: still no prospects. Maybe eight times a day I think about how much it sucks being single, and wonder despairingly why I'm not married despite being (if I do say so myself) a nice person who is neither needy, nor heinous, nor reclusive. Then I think about how essential it is to actively work on this (read: return to online dating), and then I think about how I absolutely cannot make myself do it. I will though, I swear. Definitely soon.
Apartment situation: still generally lovely, but still no coffee table, no living room curtains. I do, however, have light in the dining room after almost two months with a burned-out bulb. Last time I tried to change the bulb, the fixture fell down and shattered into a billion pieces and scratched my prized dining room table. Recently Banter Boy (my ex) came by for the sole purpose of redressing the circumstances. It really did make a huge difference. So at least there is light.
Culture and personal growth situation: still on the meh side. I recently attended a class on biodynamic wines and cheeses, in which I ate a disgusting amount of very pungent products and felt very sick afterwards. I have some extensive feedback about the class (not related to the sickness, for which I take full responsibility), but am too lazy to send it. Also I saw a movie about AIDS orphans, and another one about Egyptian musicians visiting a random desert town in Israel (which a character describes as having "no Arab culture, no Israeli culture, no culture at all."). I read two books by Elizabeth Berg (she writes a lot about people dying/in comas), and
The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry, which is a memoir of studying at the Cordon Bleu in Paris, and which I'm glad I got from the library because it was not so awesome.
I was supposed to go to a book reading last night, and bailed because of rain and general malaise.
In other words: my life is a snoozefest.
Posted by Dori at 8:04 PM
